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strawberry

by grand1sle

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1.
2.
where are we? a week at the beach cut short cuz i couldn’t take the heat and everything i said to sound smart really wasn’t that deep and in a car parked on the wrong side of your street you said to me that if i hate it somewhere then i don’t have to stay and when i’m feeling bad it won’t always be this way and though my brain is broken and tainted with hate i love the friends i’ve made along the way 3 more weeks it’s a long shot but i think i might finally clean up all the shit that’s on my floor make things as close as can be to before i never told you where i was going that’s for a reason
3.
library card 02:21
i always feel worse when i’m not with you and it’s hard to think of things to do there’s something about you i don't even know that makes me feel at home remember when you told me you wanted to see the oxbow so i pretended to be lost one day and took you there and i hope this lasts a long long time woah lets get a place together someday woah i’ll find a steady job woah we’ll be satisfied and better off than we are whoa winters long but it’s not forever
4.
as long as i’ve been able to remember there’s been to much on my mind but i know who my friends are there’s a black cat crossing in front of me as i drive to class break a mirror and disappear but i’m ay okay in case anybody asks me for an opinion everything is fine since you been gone as long as i’ve been able to recall i’ve been keeping to myself seeing what sticks from the shit i’m throwing at my wall don't talk to me don't look at me
5.
i haven’t spent enough time shedding the toxic waste from the superfund site that i grew up in and i’ve lost time for stagnation i’ve lost all of my patience i don’t wanna be an asshole so maybe maybe i’ll stop talking so much shit on all of the people who haven’t really done me that dirty thusfar but i can’t trust a liar and i’m getting too tired i’m just trying to be realistic about this i haven't spent enough time shedding the radiation from my nuclear family and i've lost all of my patience for all these fuckin fake friends i don't care if i'm being rude
6.
i know it’s been a long day and we’ve got a while to go until we get where we’re going i’m gonna fucking lose it if we don’t find something to eat within the next hour but i’m glad the worst is over I’ve never seen the mississippi before if only i could somehow finally figure out just what just what she was talking about then this could be over and we wouldn’t have to stare at the ground and stumble around this creepy fuckin town i’m glad we spent this time together
7.
strawberry 00:46
gone is the feeling i’m being misguided by spirits of people who’ve long been divided by zero i’m leaving and don’t try to follow my lead if you please i’ll be gone by tomorrow you don’t get it if you knew you would long since regret it but you don’t fucking get it
8.
do you ever miss the overpass? down by the conservation land where we’d look for cool rocks by the train tracks you’re probably feeling better being far away from home but don’t you go and tell me what i’m doing wrong i was so close to getting better i never wanted to take a shot at you but take your shot at me i’ve gotta leave at three in the morning for the airport have to get there at least two hours early for international flights now don’t you go and tell me all the things i’m doing that are surely fucking up my life losing control i don’t wanna think about how far i’ve fallen ever since this time last year when i smiled ear to ear and i didn’t have to worry about anything like this but look where we are now if you wanted to i could follow you mimic your mannerisms and attitude but you won’t be home for christmas i wish i knew in the moment how much i’d miss this do you feel more at home when you’re far from your hometown? do you feel like yourself now?
9.
so so sad as you’re staring at your dad and he’s telling you he isn’t coming back so fucked up he could never get enough and you’re gonna have to tough it out alone you’re gonna raise yourself champ but it won’t be too bad you can be like all the cool kids who don’t have a dad asshole kids things we can’t believe we did while we were trying to get away from it all so fucked up we could never be enough all our role models all turned out to be dickheads you’re gonna raise yourself kid and it won’t be too swell you’re gonna feel alone sometimes but try not to dwell if you see me looking weary eyed pain refusing to subside just know i tried to do it on my own if you see me looking sideways merging on the highway please just fuckin let me in
10.
what do you do if someone owes you money but always they come up short and you’re sick and tired of all of that shit we’re gonna take em to small claims court it’s always been like this the sides of life that we haven’t witnessed by all accounts the truth is gonna come out it’s never been like this break out legs and sprain our wrists with a smile haven’t felt invincible in a while what can you do if you lent out your car to a friend for a drive up the shore but got in a crash and now won’t call you back we’re gonna take em to small claims court

about

recorded at my desk in my bedroom from like nov 2020 - march 2021

credits

released April 16, 2021

everything - tom fisher

would also like to thank graduate records

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grand1sle Windham, Connecticut

bedroom pop punk from willimantic

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